#20: A Field Guide to American People: Fraternity Brothers
There are a lot of people in America today. That’s why each week, The Panda Page breaks down the anonymity of our great country with a new series called, A Field Guide to the People of America.
Last week, we met Hipsters. But this week, we examine Fraternities. More specifically, the Fraternity Brother species (Dateus Rapeus).
So let’s get to know them, shall we?
1. What They Look Like
The Fraternity Brother can be easily identified for their distinctive clothing style, the Popped Collar. Which consists of taking a pastel-colored American Eagle polo shirt, and flipping the collar upwards [pictured in Fig 1.1 below].
The popped collar acts as a sort of camouflage for the Fraternity Brother [see Fig 1.2]
The Fraternity Brother can also be spotted by his baseball cap being worn backwards, or awkwardly to the side [pictured in Fig 1.3]
Other common traits of the Fraternity Brother include wearing Live Strong bracelets, having gelled hair, wearing t-shirts with Greek lettering and slogans like “Go Ugly Early”, and having barbed-wire tattooes on their biceps.
2. Where To Find Them
Fraternity Brothers can be found at dollar draft nights at bars and in the run-down houses of college towns across America [illustrated in Fig 2.1].
3. Hobbies
When they’re not posting up their drunken “shaming” pictures or YouTubing Dane Cook clips, the Fraternity Brother can be found drinking light beer from kegs, and changing Beirut rules wherever they go [pictured in Fig 3.1]
Among other Fraternity Brother hobbies include having bizarre initiation rituals [pictured in Fig 3.2].
And date rape [see Fig 3.3]
4. Notable Fraternity Brothers
[See figures 4.1 below].
5. Approaching Them in the Wild
Now that you’ve met the Fraternity Brothers, why not say “Hi” when you see one? But be warned when approaching them: if you’re not in the Fraternity Brother’s Greek chapter (and you’re not an attractive girl with loose morals), he won’t want to speak to you.
So make sure that you learn a secret handshake, or have at least 2 girls with you upon meeting him.
But most of all…
Tags: popped collar, drunk girls, dane cook, thepandapage, frat, frat boys, drunkgirls, pop collar, american eagle, pop your collar, frat boy popped collar, frat guy, pop up your collar
May 12, 2008 at 12:50 pm
I am a member of a fraternity, and all of the above things are not anything what I am. I hate hats, polos, popped collars, and above all else Dane Cook……..Try again…Kay?
May 12, 2008 at 2:23 pm
don’t you ever let a woman make you who you are
May 12, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Lol, That was one of the best ones yet
May 12, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Mike is an idiot who obviously doesn’t understand stereotypes
May 12, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Re: Mike
Your fraternity sucks
May 12, 2008 at 2:27 pm
The funny part is I think this came off as the least offensive one yet
May 12, 2008 at 2:28 pm
what comes to mind is that how to make a douchebag picture.
May 12, 2008 at 2:28 pm
haha W is frat boy jesus
May 12, 2008 at 2:30 pm
LOL the New Orleans chapter of phi kappa chi!
May 12, 2008 at 2:33 pm
I’m a senior here at USC in Columbia. This town is filled with asshole redneck frat boy losers and bobblehead sorority girls. This is great
May 12, 2008 at 2:35 pm
lmao you can just hear the snarkiness is Mike’s voice as he typed that
May 12, 2008 at 2:36 pm
I just think this is not cool. Fraternities are the fabric of this country. Only a few bad apples spoil the bunch
May 12, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Thank God for these numbnuts.
Imagine these guys acutally pro-creating.
May 12, 2008 at 2:39 pm
hm, this will do great things for the image of Fraternitys.
May 12, 2008 at 2:40 pm
As far as I’m concerned, any school with a frat, sucks
May 12, 2008 at 2:41 pm
that god bless america pic is amazing
May 12, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Is it just me, or does the guy in the first picture remind anyone else of Kent “Flounder” Dorfman from Animal House??
May 12, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Stupid drunken youth *****. I hope these guys die while eating hamburgers.
Man do I ever hate alcohol obsession!
May 12, 2008 at 2:46 pm
@Mike
ahh fraternities are nothing like this. I don’t know why anyone would ever think this about frats, actually. In fact, I don’t know why anyone in the world has ever formed this stereotype based on frats.
I’m also dumb
May 12, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Edgy for sure. Different, I like all the othe posts better. I want to see your take on the internet chick. The hipsters were on point, this is just evey frat boy, I don’t think they blog unless you count “girls gone wild” purchases on the web blogging.
May 14, 2008 at 11:47 am
Panda,
Your probably just pissed off because you couldn’t get into a frat cause NO ONE LIKES YOU!
YOU SUCK!
May 16, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Oh I’m not saying there aren’t guys like this in fraternities…I’m just annoyed that they assume ALL guys are like that. I understand stereotypes, but since African Americans can fight their stereotypes….Mexicans can fight their stereotypes…Blondes can fight their stereotypes….Nerds can fight their stereotypes…..etc. Why can’t I? Honestly if you ran into me in the street you wouldn’t even think I would be a member of a fraternity JUST because of this stereotype. It pisses me off because my fraternity has only been on campus for two years and we already have done more community service than any other group AND WE WEREN’T EVEN OFFICIAL TILL AFTERWARDS….I joined because I wanted to be more motivated to help people, not because “I WANTZ LIZZEN TO DANE COOOOOK AND POP MY COLLLARRZZZZZ LOLZ” I joined because I knew I wouldn’t be able to push myself to just go out and help, I joined a group of guys who would make sure I was out there to help. I used to be anti-social before joining and now I feel much more secure about myself….All without backwards hats, polo t-shirts, rape, and getting drunk on a daily basis…And if not doing those things makes my fraternity “suck” then I’ll be happy with the “sucky” fraternity…..
May 16, 2008 at 6:47 pm
@ Mike: nice try, rapist
May 21, 2008 at 4:42 pm
@ robertm1: yes it was, douchebag
May 26, 2008 at 10:23 am
If you’re not in a fraternity, you’re not cool.
May 30, 2008 at 6:45 am
this post looks nothing like any fraternity guy ive ever seen and im in one. dont get me wrong im sure there is plenty of these up in the north. maybe check your facts and stop relying on national lampoons “beta house” for your stereotypes.